Anyway, I decided that I would type my name into Google, see what came up and then write something based on that. So in went my name and up popped a photo of a soccer player:
One of these guys has the same name as me and plays for the biggest team in this area. No, he is not the cool looking coloured guy, he is the pathetic specimen that is getting trampled into the turf, which is about right for this team.
Although I am not a soccer fan (in fact I think that Britain in particular would be a much better place without it!) I know about this guy.
Because I sometimes get phone calls for him! I guess someone looks up the name in the area, gets a short list and works their way down. The calls tend to be from journalists wanting an interview. Last season I was getting really mad about it and decided that, next time someone called I would pretend to be him and see what happened. I started to think about the sort of comments that I could make that might stir up a bit of excitement in the press - match fixing, dodgey referees, hints at sex scandals among the players, their wives and the team management, you get the idea.
Sadly, I have had no further calls...